Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a girl who is willing to get along with anyone, as long as they don’t give me a darn good reason to hate them, which is quite rarely. I wouldn’t say I was a socialite but I do try my best to be sociable (despite being “socially awkward” according to my friends).
However. There are times when I need space, a little time to myself. This could be due to a bad reason or a good one, but regardless, when I think I need some time to myself, I want it. Simple as. I’m sure most people would agree with me on this and it’s also something I have gotten used to. When I ask for some space, I usually get it.
An example would be today, where I, more or less, stormed out of the cafe because I was mad about something and wanted to go sit somewhere by myself to calm down. This is the norm for me. A friend did follow me out and, seemingly, intended on trying to stop me from doing so, despite me repeatedly telling them that I need space and just want to be alone. I appreciate that they were concerned, but I can be quite stubborn, so I did walk off to go find somewhere quiet to sit and relax.
I’m someone who can explode quite quickly, and taking myself somewhere quiet helps me calm myself down before things get worse. It helps me think over the issue; whether my reaction to it is valid or if I could be handling it better. It’s just the way I work. If I can’t seem to do so, then I confide in someone who knows me or understands me well enough, and someone I can trust. There are only a handful people who I can do this to – my mum, my best friend, my girls and a “brother from another mother” being a few of them – and I don’t always go to all of them either.
Most importantly, I go and talk to the person the issue is about. I used to be someone who would trust anyone with everything. If I had any sort of problem or issue, I would be willing to talk to anyone who was there to listen, which has gotten me into deep water before. But since starting University, I’ve started approaching the person in question. I know talking to someone else helps get your thoughts out and can help you calm down, and I still do that with a few close friends, people I’d trust with my life. But issues between two or more people can’t be solved unless you talk to the people involved. Sometimes it’s just unnecessary talking to someone else about it in the first place.
For example, the issue I had today was with two of my closest friends, and it was a very minor thing, but after hearing something else, I naturally got quite mad at my best friend. Despite not wanting to see him, or either of them in fact, if I was to talk to anyone, it would have been them and no one else. Not only because they’re my two closest friends but also because the matter concerns them. I had talked to my best friend first, who is not only brilliant at calming me down, but also let me know that what I had heard wasn’t exactly what I had thought had happened. The matter was sorted in minutes, and I then went on to talk to the other friend about the issue. A couple of minutes down the line and we’re sitting there enjoying lunch whilst having a few laughs.
Not involving a third party in this unnecessarily helped me resolve the matter so quickly. There were others around, who didn’t interfere (and I’m glad they didn’t try to either). It didn’t over complicate the issue; kept it simple.
A few days ago, there was another matter concerning another person. I did talk to them, probably not enough, however this matter was one where I needed to talk to someone else about my actions, and this couldn’t have been done with the person in question. So I talked to the person I trust the most here, my best friend. It really does depend on the situation.
And of course, there are times where you only feel like talking to a certain person and no one else, regardless of what you want to talk to them about.