It’s 2am. My TV is on and I’m sat up in bed thinking about the reason why I can’t sleep. My hands feels numb and tingly, my body ever so slightly shaking. Whether this is due to the lack of food, water and rest or to the thoughts in my head, I’m yet to find out.
All day, for a couple of days now, I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that something is going to go wrong sometime soon. When I’m distracted I’m fine, as if this feeling doesn’t exist. But when I’m not, it becomes frightful and impossible to not worry about. I haven’t been able to speak to anyone about it because I’m not sure how to. It’s not that things have been going so well in life either, that I’m afraid everything will go downhill, because frankly it’s just been a bit of a down lately. So I’m not sure why I feel this way.
It’s keeping me awake, or if I do manage to fall asleep, it wakes me up before the sun has even had a chance to peek over the horizon. It’s making me unable to do everyday tasks; I keep stumbling or making silly mistakes like I’ve never done before.
I don’t get it, I don’t understand. But one thing I do know is that I am feeling extremely paranoid about what the future may hold, and I can’t seem to shake these feelings.