Following up on my post from yesterday, they say ‘When one door closes, another opens’. Last night I was hoping that the other door would open. Instead it was locked shut with no intention of letting me through.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had suicidal thoughts over the past year or so, and in the past, and even until now, I have been releasing my pain and dealing with the hurt in the worst ways possible. Even right now, it is taking a lot of strength to not resort to the way I want to release the pain, and stay focused on releasing it through this blog.
The past week had been an eye opener but it tore down everything I worked towards as well. I now know I need to reevaluate a few aspects of my life, but the truth of it all makes me want to escape this world forever. I feel like I’m starting to realise who I am as a person, and that is someone who shouldn’t be in this world.