I was having another late night study session at the university library last night, and at around 3am, I suddenly had an anxiety attack. My friends who were studying with me had left much earlier, and another friend was somewhere else in the library but wouldn’t disclose his location as he didn’t want to be disturbed. I was there on my own, shaking in my seat, trying to control my erratic breathing.
Not knowing what the trigger was and being aware that I was alone made the panic worsen. I reached out to the one person I could think of at that moment, though I shouldn’t have reached out to them for I knew they no longer cared. I took myself away from my workstation and headed into the toilet. I stood in front of the mirror for what seemed like hours, staring at myself, trying to convince myself that I was okay. But seeing my panicked reflection made my anxiety heighten and I did the only other thing I could think of doing.
I called my housemate, woke him up from his sleep and told him what was happening to me. I feel so fortunate that they were understanding enough to come to the library, sit with me and help me calm down, and then take me back home to get some rest.
I don’t know why I’m having more attacks these days, ones with triggers I can’t seem to identify, but it is frightening. It’s scaring me