Last night was chaotic. I knew it would be; I don’t have the emotional strength at the moment to deal with something like it. But I seriously underestimated how much I would get hurt. But now it’s time to start living life by looking at the positives, and counting my blessings even in the darkest of moments. The blessings from last night came in the form of a handful of people. A few people left me feeling broken or vulnerable last night; through hurtful actions or words, or by trying to make a move on me when I really wanted anything but. I spent so much of the night worrying about just these people, when I was really missing out on the bigger picture.
I saw the motivational picture above earlier on Prince Ea’s page, and that’s when it really started to sink in. I was worrying so much about a very very small number of people, when there were so many people in that room who genuinely cared for me. They checked up me, they made sure I was doing fine if I ever looked down – and these include so many people I am not particularly close to but still have a lot of respect for. I don’t know if I thanked them enough for all the love and care I received from them.
The night would have been absolute shambles if two individuals in particular weren’t around to pick me up every single time it messed up. I don’t know what I did to deserve two people who looked out for me that much, especially since I’ve only just become slightly close to them. I had multiple breakdowns, multiple anxiety attacks, and they were there to give me the pep talk I really needed that night; to show me that this new family I’ve become a part of is much bigger than I think, and that that’s all I need to focus on when others are trying to hurt you.