My mind knows that I should be sensible about this situation. I shouldn’t even be friends with him yet, for some reason, I kept getting over any issue we had and going back to him. I find myself looking at him with the look – the ‘there’s something about him *smiles to self*’look. My heart sometimes skips a beat when it really shouldn’t, over the odd nice gesture (that is rarely ever towards me; that phase was over a long time ago, shortly after I’d satisfied his needs).
I know, I really do know, that I don’t like a lot about his personality, and that there is no way I would even consider someone like him on the norm. I feel outcasted, looked down on and as if I’m not good enough. I know I’m not and was never the only girl, ever, let alone at any one time. He changes his interests as he pleases, depending on what needs need to be settled.
Yet why do I feel like I’m starting to like him again when I really don’t want to. I know it really isn’t worth it, not even for a fragment of happiness or content, but for some reason my heart is so convinced that he wouldn’t be this sort of a person when dating someone.
Why? I have no idea. I must be going insane.
Maybe some time out?