If you know I like you, as more than just a friend, I don’t understand how you could even consider manipulating that to your advantage. I am so tired, and so exhausted, from hearing guys tell me that they can see I’m into them and it makes their job ‘easier’, or just people using my friendship in general. I guess I might be a bit of an empath, but that doesn’t mean I’m there to be taken advantage of.
If I like you, I like you. If you don’t like me back then just leave my feelings be, instead of pretending, toying and making it seem like it’s mutual, only because you need someone to use. There is a difference between ‘being interested’ and having feelings for someone, and genuinely liking them. If I’m just slightly interested in you, it means I think of you as a nice person, or a good-looking person, but I wouldn’t think about being with you romantically. If I have feelings for you, it’s different.
I’m all up for something casual, a one night stand or a casual fling with someone I find interesting. But I find that guys are only asking because they know that I like them, and it makes it so much easier for them to find someone to sleep with. It’s difficult for me because they play it out so well; they make it seem they like you, that they are only showing interest in you, as you them – sometimes for days on end. That is until they get what they want, and you realise the truth of it all. I’m a romantic, and I fall for those sort of things easily. If you’re honest with me and tell me straight up that you’re going to use me because you can tell I really like you, then I wouldn’t agree, and I wouldn’t be in a situation where I’m being played around with. I get it. That wouldn’t work out well. I understand a stranger wouldn’t really do this; they would want to manipulate the situation so that the ball is in their court. But not as my friend. Even someone who wasn’t even that close a friend told me they were going to use me before they did, so that leaves everyone else no excuse.
With regards to just being used as a friend, I just don’t have enough foul words to describe how this feels. I treasure each and every one of my friends, especially those I know I am particular close to, and I would never dream of using them to my advantage. I’m the type of person who spends hours going back and forth in my head about whether I should ask people for a small favour or not. And then even after I do, I spend ages thanking them or apologising for being a nuisance. Yes, you should ‘do to others as you’d have them do to you‘, but I’m not gonna force that onto anyone. The least you could do as my friend is to respect the care I have for you, and not abuse it. I don’t care if you don’t return it in a similar way or to the same extent, just don’t take advantage of that and of my feelings.
I’ve had enough of seeing so many people get close to me, take advantage of my presence or my care or generosity, wallow in it again and again, let their ego grow and place themselves up on some ridiculous pedestal, only to leave me when they find something better or more worth their time. I’m not here for that; I’m not here as temporary replacement or entertainment, for you to look down on later.
If you’re my friend, and you do either of these to me, and lie and put on a front, then god help you because I will never forgive you for it. How could you, even in that moment, be so selfish? I’ve made the mistake of forgiving these people countless times, because I develop a soft spot for them, but enough is enough, my heart has been abused more times than it can handle.
I don’t want to hear any sort of ‘it’s nothing major, we’re all just human’ excuses either. Am I not human? Am I some supernatural entity who doesn’t feel? (Though sometimes I wish I was) I will never do that to anyone, stranger or friend. So cut the nonsense. In my eyes, there is no excuse, no right to do this to anyone, let alone a friend. To anyone who thinks in that way, I feel sorry for you, but you can go make love to yourself and find those who willingly fall at your feet because I’m not here to be messed around with.