This is something I told a good friend a few days ago, and I realise it’s something to keep in mind going into this new year. If you have found yourself doubting your friends, or have been questioning your self worth because of how your friends perceive you, then I hope these words that have come from the bottom of my heart, from my past experiences with similar problems, can shine some light on you during dark times.
People see you not how you want them to see you, but how they want to see you. From the very first moment they meet you, they already have an image in the mind, be it an accurate representation or the complete opposite of your character. Over time, this image evolves as they start to know you better and delve into you world. Even then, they see what they want to see and what they can comprehend. ‘What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are’. This is a quote by one of my favourite authors, C.S.Lewis from his book, The Magician’s Nephew. He couldn’t be more right. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what someone sees doesn’t always have anything to do with the truth. For a person’s perception is influenced by their experiences and personality.
Simply put, a person’s perception of something or someone is powerful, but it has the chance of being unprecedentedly wrong.
When someone sees you in a negative light, especially someone whom we care for, the impact it has on our self confidence and how we see ourselves is powerful. It can knock a person right of their pedestal even if the perception is completely inaccurate. It makes you doubt yourself and question who you are. In a lot of cases, only one side of the story is heard and the other doesn’t get a chance to reveal itself until the damage has been done.