I’ve been doing a decent job at keeping focused with dance, channeling my hurt into my dancing and with gym as well. I met up with a friend from breakdance today, who taught me a few new things, and I worked on my current choreography as well.
But I broke down a couple of nights ago to my friend; I just couldn’t keep going with his heartache inside me and I just fell apart. I feel a bit after it happened, the aching has died down the slightest amount and I feel a bit relieved but I keep seeing triggers in everything I do and places I go.
I just sat down to do some work for a particular module, a module that introduced me to said person, and so many things in the work keep reminding me of the times when I was with him. Yes, it’s a bit silly but I can’t seem to help it and it’s preventing me from doing what I need to do.
As if I didn’t have enough on my plate already, I am having to make a difficult decision about someone I thought would be a good friend but is now trying to approach me romantically. I want to cut them out from my life, but they won’t stop with trying to contact me and it’s getting exhausting.
‘Relish in the attention,’ said a few of my friends, for this is the second person to have done such a thing over the past couple of weeks. I can’t relish it in, I hate it. It makes me feel uncomfortable and the only thing that would make me feel happy is if one of those guys was someone I would like.
But they’re not, and they seem too keen for someone I have only just met.