I had a very enlightening talk yesterday with my close friend about my current emotional state. I came home feeling, well, not so great and proceeded to his room to talk it out. I explained to him what I was feeling, something he was all too familiar with, and the reasons behind my it.
That’s when he pointed out the problem. I had been spending the whole time leaving the decisions in someone else’s hands. Even now, I was seeking an answer from them. “You need an answer from yourself,” he said, “You are conflicted because there are two outcomes and you don’t want to choose either.”
The two outcomes are as follows:
- Accepting the situation as it stands, that things are well and truly done and just need to be left in the past.
- Try and give it another shot at some point after the supposed cause has ended.
The choice seems easy right? Either come to terms with it and save myself the heartache, or endure the heartache for goodness knows how long in the hope that things will work out again. The reason why I’m struggling to make a choice is because the first would mean letting go of any emotions attached to the situation and potentially giving up on it working out, if the opportunity came by. For the latter, it’s not being prepared for rejection or the heartache that I’d have to endure for a certain length of time.
Initially I chose the latter; I just felt gutted it didn’t last longer when maybe it could have; that it ended as I started to become more invested. That was until I was sat in a nearly 2 hour long commute by myself this morning and had plenty of time to think things through.
I chose the first, giving up on it all. I realised I can’t live life based around all these ‘what ifs’ and hypothetical problems or situations. Especially not after I’ve spent a long time learning to live in the moment (the approach I had wanted to take with this situation before my idea broke down). It saves you the worry, helps you focus on the things that really matter at that moment in time and you will see growth over that period of time. But hypothetical thoughts just hold you back, stop you from moving forward because you’re scared to or reluctant to.
Now, a choice has been made.