It’s how life feels right now; reckless. I’ve been making a lot of decisions based on my emotions in the moment, neither thinking back nor ahead. I think the thought of my university life coming to an end in less than a month terrifies me in a way, and makes me want to do everything I can do in the next few weeks even if my exams are also around the corner.
I made some pretty reckless decisions a couple of nights ago; actions that I can’t really explain and don’t know if they have any meaning behind them. But at the time, it’s what I wanted to do and I enjoyed it. Of course, I now have to take the consequences as they come – the first being a ridiculous hangover – but I’m not sure if I am ready to face all of them. I don’t even know what some of those consequences might be, and I’ll only know when it hits me like a wall.
I may have to face one today, and this could either make it easier to tidy any other consequences that may come in the way in the upcoming days, or do the complete opposite and make it harder. I won’t know until I do learn to face it but the problem is, I’m not sure how to. It’s a situation I haven’t been in before and, without knowing exactly what I want the outcome to be, I’m not sure if facing it is something that will make me more confused.